WHEN I AM 84

One of the perks in our volunteer work is an access to the self-serve coffee shop located in the lobby of the facility. Our sing along session usually starts at 4:00-5:00pm, at the 2nd floor then from 6:30 to 7:30 on the first floor of the LTC ( long term care ) In the 4:00 to 5:00 session, most of the participants have already dementia.

Each time we sit down for a coffee right after the 4-5 session, we talk about our observations, especially how the residents react with us.


Like one time, as I was setting up my keyboard and amplifier., one resident approached me. Then she asked: "How is my car doing? Are you fixing it?"

"Uh-uh.." I would say silently then I would tell her: "Ask that lady over there ( a staff who works in the facility, trained to deal with these situations. I am not!)

There was one lady who has such a wide knowledge of songs. She knows the title of most of the tunes I play. In the beginning, she fancied me. Oh, you can tell, because she would hug me right after the last song, or shake my hand gripping it and never letting it go. She would be telling how marvelous I am, or telling me that she wants to bring me to her home, stuff like that. Well, she does not know what she is already telling..

Lately she does not bother me anymore because she found a partner among the other residents and I am happy for her!

Miggie saw several of these "love-struck" partners. The spouse of one partner is still alive, but she hardly know her real husband anymore. She is more attached to the one whom she see and interact frequently in the facility.

Of course, these residents are never allowed to go out of the wing. Doing so would be disastrous. Not unless a relative would be there to acompany them..

So I joke Miggie."Would you leave me here when I am 84 and be just like some of them?"

"Of course, not" she said.."Neither would I," I would answer."PATIEM!" she would remark and we would both laugh. But we know too well the situation is not a laughing matter once it arrives.

There are some options aside from being confined to a facility. Stay in your own house and let someone visit you regularly, a paid caregiver.

Me?..I can never tell. Who can? Hopefully, I could be like one of my daughter's grandmother in law, a feisty Scottish lady.

At the age of 90, she can still drive, travel and one time, she wanted to learn how to fly a plane. Her mind is still sharp. Her face is already wrinkled but she can still move about with agility. She can converse very intelligently.

In fact she is inviting us to Scotland for her next birthday anniversary.---#